Like a lot of writers who attended a conference of some kind or another this summer, I recently sent a manuscript off on another round of submissions. And now, the waiting...
Doesn't it just kill you? Don't you just want to check your inbox, like, every 30 seconds? Or is it just me?
And my inbox and I now have a love-hate relationship. If it's empty, AUUUGH, the angst of waiting yet another day. But if it's full, AUUUGH, it's way too soon to be a request for material! It must be a rejection! And so it goes until the next day, when I begin again, hoping for the request from that dream agent, dreading the rejection, and trying to stay focused enough to write something amazing and worthy of publication in the thirty seconds in between visits to my email account.
Well, I've decided to operate on the principle that a watched inbox never fills, and on the principle that no news has to be good news. So, in between working on my new manuscripts (which are really coming along, thanks to the burst of creativity I got since I started the Astonishingly Brilliant Query Critique Contest - have you entered yet?) and catching up on everything that I'm not doing when I'm working on my new manuscripts, even though I'm not checking my inbox every thirty seconds, I am still thinking about checking it every thirty seconds. And as much as I hope that the next thing to land there will be an excited request from my top agent pick, I am aware that at some point, whether it's from an agent or an editor, there will be a rejection (or two, or a hundred) making its way through that inbox.
Ah, the form rejection; we've all had them at one time or another. "Thanks, but it's not for me." It's polite, and it's brief, and I get that agents and editors are crazy-busy, and I get that it's all subjective and if they take the time to give us a page of notes they might send us down the wrong path and they don't want to end up making it even worse. I totally get it. But it's generic; it could mean anything from "This is great, but not to my taste," to "This has been done a million times." I wish there were a variety of canned responses, that would at least give us some guidance, so we're not left flailing. Nothing detailed, nothing really personal, nothing that would take more than a couple of clicks to send, but something other than the standard, "Thanks, but no thanks." So, I give you:
What I Wish Form Rejections Would Really Say
- "This was wonderfully written, but it's just not for me," means exactly what it says: your writing is there, but you sent it to the wrong person.
- "This is a good effort, but in my opinion, it's not quite 'there'," means you maybe need to look at it again and do another round of revision before you waste time sending it out to a bajillion other agents.
- "Thanks, but there are a lot of books out on this topic right now," means you need to either wait a couple of years and try again, or figure out what differentiates your book from all the others out there on the same topic and put that in your query letter.
- "Thanks, but your book would compete with one that a client of mine has written, so I'll have to pass." A perfectly good and understandable reason.
- "Thanks, but I didn't really feel that I had a good grasp of what your book is about," means your query needs work.
How about you guys? Is there anything I've left out of my list? What do you wish form rejections would really say?
Wednesday, August 18, 2010
Monday, August 16, 2010
Pardon my Dust...
You may have noticed that my blog has a new look today! What do yo think? I wanted something a little more personal than the plain white background and standard font. After checking out so many great blogs during the amazing three-days-of-sleeplessness-and-awesome that was WriteOnCon, I started to feel like my own off-the-rack blog was a little bit "meh".
I'll be experimenting with different backgrounds, fonts, colors, pictures, headers, you-name-it this week while you guys enter my Astonishingly Brilliant Query Critique Contest!!
So, enjoy the changing colors. If you happen to especially like something, drop me a line or two in the comments at the bottom of this post.
And thanks for stopping by.
I'll be experimenting with different backgrounds, fonts, colors, pictures, headers, you-name-it this week while you guys enter my Astonishingly Brilliant Query Critique Contest!!
So, enjoy the changing colors. If you happen to especially like something, drop me a line or two in the comments at the bottom of this post.
And thanks for stopping by.
Sunday, August 15, 2010
The "Astonishingly Brilliant Query Critique" Contest!
So, WriteOnCon has been officially over since Thursday night. And ever since Wednesday evening (because I like to get a head-start on depression), I've been down with the post-WriteOnCon blues. I got my feedback, I've polished my manuscripts, I have my new Beta-reading friends (Hi, New Beta-Reading Friends!), I'm ready to submit, but... I'm just not inspired to write anything new. I'm in the dumps.
Do you know what always gets me out of the dumps?
A contest!
So, I am hosting my first-ever blog contest! YAAAY!
And in keeping with my WriteOnCon blogging theme, which was all about queries, one lucky winner of this contest will win An Astonishingly Brilliant Query Critique by ME! And it will be astonishingly brilliant, I promise you. My query critiques kick a little butt.
SO, here's what you do to enter this contest.
1) Follow my blog.
2) Link to this contest in as many places as you can: Facebook, MySpace, Twitter, your own blog, you name it. Go big, guys.
3) Leave a comment on this post with a link to each place in which you have linked to this blog. You will get one entry for each link you post. You will get 5 entries if you actually blog about it! Woo-Hoo!
4) Do all of this no later than Midnight on the night of Friday August 20, EDT.
At Midnight on Friday night, I will take all of the entries and put them into the hat and pick one winner. (Yes, I said a hat. Yes, I am a low-tech person. You probably already knew this from the lack of pictures on this blog, and from the little blog-party I threw when I finally figured out how to add hyperlinks. I hope to remedy the picture issue soon.)
So, go win yourself a query critique!
And thanks for stopping by.
Do you know what always gets me out of the dumps?
A contest!
So, I am hosting my first-ever blog contest! YAAAY!
And in keeping with my WriteOnCon blogging theme, which was all about queries, one lucky winner of this contest will win An Astonishingly Brilliant Query Critique by ME! And it will be astonishingly brilliant, I promise you. My query critiques kick a little butt.
SO, here's what you do to enter this contest.
1) Follow my blog.
2) Link to this contest in as many places as you can: Facebook, MySpace, Twitter, your own blog, you name it. Go big, guys.
3) Leave a comment on this post with a link to each place in which you have linked to this blog. You will get one entry for each link you post. You will get 5 entries if you actually blog about it! Woo-Hoo!
4) Do all of this no later than Midnight on the night of Friday August 20, EDT.
At Midnight on Friday night, I will take all of the entries and put them into the hat and pick one winner. (Yes, I said a hat. Yes, I am a low-tech person. You probably already knew this from the lack of pictures on this blog, and from the little blog-party I threw when I finally figured out how to add hyperlinks. I hope to remedy the picture issue soon.)
So, go win yourself a query critique!
And thanks for stopping by.
Saturday, August 14, 2010
A Few Last Things About Queries
I've had a few more thoughts in the last couple of days:
- Always thank them for their time.
- Always check spelling, grammar, and punctuation. This should look professional!
- The title of your manuscript should be in ALL CAPS.
- If you are sending pages with your query (or in the case of PBs, the full MS), ALWAYS mention that it is a simultaneous submission. (This is what you call it when you send the same stuff to more than one person at a time. This is the term you use: "simultaneous submission".)
That last one is important. No-one wants to pick something out of the slush, fall in love with it, and find out when they call the author that he or she signed a contract with someone else the week before. Tell them if other people are looking at your work, and if someone expresses interest, tell everyone else who has that manuscript that you have interest from someone (but don't tell them who) and give them a couple of weeks to decide whether they want to put an offer on the table, too.
Happy querying!
And thanks for stopping by.
- Always thank them for their time.
- Always check spelling, grammar, and punctuation. This should look professional!
- The title of your manuscript should be in ALL CAPS.
- If you are sending pages with your query (or in the case of PBs, the full MS), ALWAYS mention that it is a simultaneous submission. (This is what you call it when you send the same stuff to more than one person at a time. This is the term you use: "simultaneous submission".)
That last one is important. No-one wants to pick something out of the slush, fall in love with it, and find out when they call the author that he or she signed a contract with someone else the week before. Tell them if other people are looking at your work, and if someone expresses interest, tell everyone else who has that manuscript that you have interest from someone (but don't tell them who) and give them a couple of weeks to decide whether they want to put an offer on the table, too.
Happy querying!
And thanks for stopping by.
Tuesday, August 10, 2010
Query Workshop Part II: Novels
Tonight's post is about querying the novel. This really applies to a range of books, from the chapter book to the novella to the full-fledged novel, but I'll just say "novel" for convenience.
The basic rules are the same as for picture book queries:
- Keep it short - a page or less.
- Keep it professional.
- Don't give away the ending of your book.
- Stay on topic.
The basic format is the same, with an extra paragraph for getting into the nitty-gritty of what your novel is about. Remember: we want the nitty-gritty.
When writing your query, the very first thing you should do is think about your main character, the main problem they face, and the obstacles in their way, and say that in one sentence. For example, the YA novel THE SISTERHOOD OF THE TRAVELLING PANTS can be summarized as:
"Four friends find a pair of jeans that fits them all and decide to share them throughout the summer, making the pants the glue that keeps them close even when they are far apart."
Then flesh it out a little, and then a little more, until you have two solid paragraphs that identify the main character (or characters), their primary goal, and whatever stands in the way.
You are not looking to explain any alternate worlds or universes here, and you are not introducing extra secondary characters here. Boil it down to the essence.
Here's the (purposefully awful) first draft of a query for my WIP, a YA paranormal romance tentatively entitled HUNTER:
Dear Mr. Agent,
High school Junior Kira Moretti has it all: a great boyfriend, good grades, parents who let her do what she wants, and now a major role in the school musical. But when she starts to fall for the boy cast as her boyfriend, and he starts to fall for her, things start to fall apart.
He is her Guardian Angel, sent down to protect her from the moment of her birth because she is destined to become the next Prophet. Since he's an angel and she's a human, they are forbidden to have a relationship, and boy is God mad! He sends the Archangels down to punish them, leading to an epic battle. And to top it off, demons are out to get her! Will Kira figure out how to date the real guy of her dreams and get away from the demons in order to fulfill her destiny?
HUNTER is a _____-word YA paranormal romance novel that is a perfect mash-up of Twilight and High School Musical. It will set hearts racing and have girls swooning, and is the first in a series of 5 books that I have written. You would be a fool to pass this up.
I can't wait to hear from you!
Sincerely,
I actually had fun writing that just now. *grin* And here's the redline:
Dear Mr. Agent, This is the only appropriate way to begin a query; don't call an agent by his or her first name.
High school Junior Kira Moretti has it all: overdone beginning a great boyfriend, good grades, parents who let her do what she wants, and now a major role in the school musical. But when she starts to fall for the boy cast as her boyfriend, Are we talking about in her life, or in the play? and he starts to fall for her, things start to fall apart. Lots of repetition of the word "fall" here... Could be good or bad.
He is her Guardian Angel, sent down to protect her from the moment of her birth because she is destined to become the next Prophet. Where did THAT come from? Since he's an angel and she's a human, they are forbidden to have a relationship, and boy is God mad! Too informal. He sends the Archangels down to punish them, leading to an epic battle. "an epic battle" is way too vague. And to top it off, demons are out to get her! HUH? Where did THEY come from? Will Kira figure out how to date the real guy of her dreams I thought her old boyfriend was the guy of her dreams? What happened to him? and get away from the demons in order to fulfill her destiny? Rhetorical questions are best avoided.
HUNTER is a _____-word YA paranormal romance novel that is a perfect mash-up of Twilight and High School Musical. Describing a novel as a perfect anything is bound to raise eyebrows, and not in a good way. It will set hearts racing and have girls swooning, This is presumptuous. and is the first in a series of 5 books that I have written. ALWAYS say that your novel can stand alone; publishers don't want to be tied to a deal for a series if the first book flops. You would be a fool to pass this up. Unprofessional, among other things.
I can't wait to hear from you! Instead of saying that, say that you look forward to hearing from them, and thank them for their time.
Sincerely,
And here's an improved (but by no means perfect - I'm still writing the book!) version:
Mr./Mrs. Agent,
16-year-old Kira Moretti thinks her Junior year is off to a flying start: not only has the most popular boy in her school asked her out, but she's also been cast to play her favorite character in the high school production of "Grease". But when she starts falling for Hunter Crowley, her pretend-boyfriend from the musical, he tells her something that brings her right back down to Earth: he's not human. He's her Guardian Angel, and although they have developed a burning passion for one another, a romantic relationship is forbidden.
This is a small worry compared to the reason Hunter was sent to protect Kira: she is destined to become the next Prophet, and Lucifer and his army of fallen souls have been plotting to destroy her since the moment of her birth. Kira and Hunter must fight for life and love in this _____________-word YA paranormal romance.
TWILIGHT meets "High School Musical" in HUNTER, a novel which will appeal to fans of THIS BOOK YOU REPRESENTED and THIS OTHER BOOK YOU REPRESENTED. Although it can stand alone, it has series potential.
Thank you for your consideration, and I look forward to hearing from you.
Sincerely,
It's not perfect, but it's way better. It's more concise, more focused on the main characters, and more professional.
And it will probably morph into something completely different by the time I have finished my novel! But that's okay; writing it was fun, and helped me narrow in on the core of my book. I encourage anyone with a work-in-progress to go ahead and write the query for it now, so that whenever you find yourself wandering off-track in your manuscript, you can dig out your query and remind yourself what you're supposed to be writing about!
I hope this was helpful, and thanks for stopping by.
The basic rules are the same as for picture book queries:
- Keep it short - a page or less.
- Keep it professional.
- Don't give away the ending of your book.
- Stay on topic.
The basic format is the same, with an extra paragraph for getting into the nitty-gritty of what your novel is about. Remember: we want the nitty-gritty.
When writing your query, the very first thing you should do is think about your main character, the main problem they face, and the obstacles in their way, and say that in one sentence. For example, the YA novel THE SISTERHOOD OF THE TRAVELLING PANTS can be summarized as:
"Four friends find a pair of jeans that fits them all and decide to share them throughout the summer, making the pants the glue that keeps them close even when they are far apart."
Then flesh it out a little, and then a little more, until you have two solid paragraphs that identify the main character (or characters), their primary goal, and whatever stands in the way.
You are not looking to explain any alternate worlds or universes here, and you are not introducing extra secondary characters here. Boil it down to the essence.
Here's the (purposefully awful) first draft of a query for my WIP, a YA paranormal romance tentatively entitled HUNTER:
Dear Mr. Agent,
High school Junior Kira Moretti has it all: a great boyfriend, good grades, parents who let her do what she wants, and now a major role in the school musical. But when she starts to fall for the boy cast as her boyfriend, and he starts to fall for her, things start to fall apart.
He is her Guardian Angel, sent down to protect her from the moment of her birth because she is destined to become the next Prophet. Since he's an angel and she's a human, they are forbidden to have a relationship, and boy is God mad! He sends the Archangels down to punish them, leading to an epic battle. And to top it off, demons are out to get her! Will Kira figure out how to date the real guy of her dreams and get away from the demons in order to fulfill her destiny?
HUNTER is a _____-word YA paranormal romance novel that is a perfect mash-up of Twilight and High School Musical. It will set hearts racing and have girls swooning, and is the first in a series of 5 books that I have written. You would be a fool to pass this up.
I can't wait to hear from you!
Sincerely,
I actually had fun writing that just now. *grin* And here's the redline:
Dear Mr. Agent, This is the only appropriate way to begin a query; don't call an agent by his or her first name.
High school Junior Kira Moretti has it all: overdone beginning a great boyfriend, good grades, parents who let her do what she wants, and now a major role in the school musical. But when she starts to fall for the boy cast as her boyfriend, Are we talking about in her life, or in the play? and he starts to fall for her, things start to fall apart. Lots of repetition of the word "fall" here... Could be good or bad.
He is her Guardian Angel, sent down to protect her from the moment of her birth because she is destined to become the next Prophet. Where did THAT come from? Since he's an angel and she's a human, they are forbidden to have a relationship, and boy is God mad! Too informal. He sends the Archangels down to punish them, leading to an epic battle. "an epic battle" is way too vague. And to top it off, demons are out to get her! HUH? Where did THEY come from? Will Kira figure out how to date the real guy of her dreams I thought her old boyfriend was the guy of her dreams? What happened to him? and get away from the demons in order to fulfill her destiny? Rhetorical questions are best avoided.
HUNTER is a _____-word YA paranormal romance novel that is a perfect mash-up of Twilight and High School Musical. Describing a novel as a perfect anything is bound to raise eyebrows, and not in a good way. It will set hearts racing and have girls swooning, This is presumptuous. and is the first in a series of 5 books that I have written. ALWAYS say that your novel can stand alone; publishers don't want to be tied to a deal for a series if the first book flops. You would be a fool to pass this up. Unprofessional, among other things.
I can't wait to hear from you! Instead of saying that, say that you look forward to hearing from them, and thank them for their time.
Sincerely,
And here's an improved (but by no means perfect - I'm still writing the book!) version:
Mr./Mrs. Agent,
16-year-old Kira Moretti thinks her Junior year is off to a flying start: not only has the most popular boy in her school asked her out, but she's also been cast to play her favorite character in the high school production of "Grease". But when she starts falling for Hunter Crowley, her pretend-boyfriend from the musical, he tells her something that brings her right back down to Earth: he's not human. He's her Guardian Angel, and although they have developed a burning passion for one another, a romantic relationship is forbidden.
This is a small worry compared to the reason Hunter was sent to protect Kira: she is destined to become the next Prophet, and Lucifer and his army of fallen souls have been plotting to destroy her since the moment of her birth. Kira and Hunter must fight for life and love in this _____________-word YA paranormal romance.
TWILIGHT meets "High School Musical" in HUNTER, a novel which will appeal to fans of THIS BOOK YOU REPRESENTED and THIS OTHER BOOK YOU REPRESENTED. Although it can stand alone, it has series potential.
Thank you for your consideration, and I look forward to hearing from you.
Sincerely,
It's not perfect, but it's way better. It's more concise, more focused on the main characters, and more professional.
And it will probably morph into something completely different by the time I have finished my novel! But that's okay; writing it was fun, and helped me narrow in on the core of my book. I encourage anyone with a work-in-progress to go ahead and write the query for it now, so that whenever you find yourself wandering off-track in your manuscript, you can dig out your query and remind yourself what you're supposed to be writing about!
I hope this was helpful, and thanks for stopping by.
Monday, August 9, 2010
Picture Book Query Workshop
With WriteOnCon just two days away now, and with the end of summer (and therefore the end of many query blocks that agents have announced) approaching, I thought a couple posts on queries would be appropriate. Queries are the only thing I almost never get major feedback on, and I credit Query Shark, Nathan Bransford, SCBWI, and all the other resources I went to before I sent out my first query. My first drafts are never anything to write home about, but I use these resources to tighten and revise on my own before asking for critique or sending them out. So, while I'm not necessarily an expert, I think I can probably offer some helpful advice.
Since queries can be such tricky beasts, I decided on a workshop format: I'll post a "first draft" of a query, then show you a line edit so you can see how I would tighten and improve it. This way, you can see how I apply the general guidelines in practice, and (hopefully) then you can apply them to yours.
We'll do picture books today, because PB queries are a particular case, and novels tomorrow.
Okay? Okay.
SO! Here we go. There are some basic tenets for queries, and they apply especially when it comes to picture books. The biggest rule of thumb is, keep it short. I mean, REALLY short. I know we say one page for queries, but if you're querying a picture book, you should really be going for about half a page. If your query is longer than your manuscript (and your book has more than one or two words per page), you have a problem.
This sounds daunting, but it really isn't. The basic structure for your query letter should be:
Address (Dear Mr/Mrs Agent/Editor)
One to three sentences about the content of your book, which includes your hook, but which does not include how it ends. (They're called "spoilers" for a reason, guys.)
A couple of sentences about why you think your book is a good fit for their house/agency (including word count, target audience, etc.).
A sentence or two of relevant bio/recent and relevant publishing credits.
Thanks,
Signature
That's it! Any more, and you're over. The part about staying relevant in your bio is important; it's nice if you go to conferences on the topic of your book, but unless you were a speaker, they don't qualify you as an expert. It also doesn't matter if your grandson liked your book, unless your grandson runs a publishing house. A PhD in Entomology is great if you wrote a PB about bugs, but if you're writing about a kid who goes to the dentist, leave it out. If it doesn't have to do with writing or publishing and it isn't an actual qualification or degree that applies directly to your manuscript, it shouldn't be in your query. The editor will thank you.
I've heard a couple of people say that they never personalize their query with a section on why you think your manuscript is a good fit for a certain agent or editor. If that's the way you want to go, then so be it. But I put one in, because all the agents I've heard talk about it and seen blog about it say they prefer one. It shows them that you've done your research. (And you ARE doing your research, right? Right? Yes, because you know you should be.)
Okay! So with all of that said, here's a first draft-type version (I took my actual query and worked backwards to add mistakes that I see people make often) of a query for one of my books:
Mr. Agent Amazing who Holds My Dreams in Your Hands,
“Penelope was petite – in fact, she was the smallest person in her class – but her hair was HUGE.
This was a problem.”
Penelope is good at everything, but all anyone ever notices is her huge hair. Penelope tries everything from braids to special brushes to a haircut and everything in-between to make her hair less noticeable, but it just doesn't work. Then when she finds out that there will be a school spelling bee, she jumps at the chance to prove to everyone that her hair isn't the only thing remarkable about her, and after practicing and practicing and practicing, she wins! And no-one notices her hair anymore.
"Penelope’s Hairy Predicament” is a 600-word picture book for 6-8 year olds. It will appeal to readers of all shapes and sizes.
With its light-hearted treatment of a serious issue, this book would be a welcome addition to your collection of quirkier titles, such as THIS BOOK, by Author A and THIS OTHER BOOK, by Author B. I have enclosed my complete manuscript, along with an SASE for your convenience.
I am a member of SCBWI. My poem, “Desert Treasure”, has been published in the Jul/Aug 2010 issue of KNOW: the Science Magazine for Curious Kids. I also contributed to my College Newspaper at Simon's Rock College of Bard from 1994-1996. As someone who grew up with humongous hair, I really know what Penelope has gone through, and in fact this book is based on my experiences as a child. A writer, actor, and dancer, I live, write, and perform in This Town, ON, with my husband and two sons.
I just know you're going to love my book, and I can't wait to be your client!
Sincerely,
And here's my line edit:
Mr. AgentAmazing who Holds My Dreams in Your Hands, Don't ever say that; they don't need to feel the extra pressure, okay? Rejecting people's work is hard!
“Penelope was petite – in fact, she was the smallest person in her class – but her hair was HUGE. This was a problem.” Corrected weird formatting.
Penelope is good at everything, Avoid hyperbole. but all anyone ever notices is her huge hair. Penelope tries everything from braids to special brushes to a haircut and everything in-between to make her hair less noticeable, but it just doesn't work. Then when she finds out that there will be a school spelling bee, she jumps at the chance to prove to everyone that her hair isn't the only thing remarkable about her, and after practicing and practicing and practicing, she wins! And no-one notices her hair anymore. There are two things wrong with this paragraph: one, it's a summary, not a query, and it gives away the ending. Don't give away the ending! Two, it's way, way too long.
"Penelope’s Hairy Predicament” is a 600-word picture book for 6-8 year olds. It will appeal to readers of all shapes and sizes. This is kind of general. Shoot for specificity.
With its light-hearted treatment of a serious issue, this book would be a welcome addition to your collection of quirkier titles, such as THIS BOOK, by Author A and THIS OTHER BOOK, by Author B. I have enclosed my complete manuscript, along with an SASE for your convenience. This is actually fine. Books are examples from the agent or editor's own list. This part will change depending on whom you're querying.
I am a member of SCBWI. My poem, “Desert Treasure”, has been published in the Jul/Aug 2010 issue of KNOW: the Science Magazine for Curious Kids. This is a good credit: current, and also kidlit. I also contributed to my College Newspaper at Simon's Rock College of Bard from 1994-1996. However, the newspaper credit is WAY old, and not even in the right genre! Cut it. As someone who grew up with humongous hair, I really know what Penelope has gone through, and in fact this book is based on my experiences as a child. Sorry, but... This needs to go. It doesn't reflect the voice of the manuscript, and it's wordy. A writer, actor, and dancer, I live, write, and perform in This Town, ON, with my husband and two sons.
I just know you're going to love my book, and I can't wait to be your client! Don't say this; never presume that representation will be offered. Thank them for their time, and say that you look forward to hearing from them.
Sincerely,
And here's the final version:
Mr. Agent/Editor, Professional greeting - this is a business letter.
“Penelope was petite – in fact, she was the smallest person in her class – but her hair was HUGE. This was a problem.” This is the "hook". You don't have to quote from your manuscript, but in this instance, I thought it worked and I left it in.
Penelope is good at lots of things, like Hide-and-Seek and memorizing the dictionary. But all anyone ever notices is her huge hair. As Penelope tries unsuccessfully to make her hair less noticeable, she learns that sometimes building on your strengths is the best way to diminish your weaknesses. This gives some specific details and the theme, but does not give away the ending - to find out how she solves her problem, they'll have to read the manuscript. The second sentence is the essence of what this book is about - the theme, not the plot.
"Penelope’s Hairy Predicament” is a 600-word picture book for 6-8 year olds. It will appeal to any child who has ever felt uncomfortable with his appearance, stood out in a crowd, or believed there was more to herself than the way she looked. This still refers to most people, but it tells WHY those people might like this book.
With its light-hearted treatment of a serious issue, this book would be a welcome addition to your collection of quirkier titles, such as THIS BOOK, by Author A and THIS OTHER BOOK, by Author B. I have enclosed my complete manuscript, along with an SASE for your convenience. Most of the time, editors and agents specify that in the case of picture books, you should send the full manuscript with the query. Look in the Children's Writers' Market if you don't believe me.
I am a member of SCBWI. My poem, “Desert Treasure”, has been published in the Jul/Aug 2010 issue of KNOW: the Science Magazine for Curious Kids. A writer, actor, and dancer, I live, write, and perform in This Town, ON, with my husband and two sons. We are the biggest-haired family on our street. This last sentence adds a bit of flavor, and reflects the voice in the manuscript.
Thank you for your consideration; I look forward to hearing from you. Professional, polite closing.
Sincerely,
See the difference? Keep it tight; give specific examples, but don't reveal the ending; echo the voice in your manuscript; stay relevant; personalize it.
And once you figure it out, make that baby into a template so you never have to try to figure it out again.
I hope some of you found this, along with the above links, helpful. Enjoy your journey in queryland!
And thanks for stopping by.
Since queries can be such tricky beasts, I decided on a workshop format: I'll post a "first draft" of a query, then show you a line edit so you can see how I would tighten and improve it. This way, you can see how I apply the general guidelines in practice, and (hopefully) then you can apply them to yours.
We'll do picture books today, because PB queries are a particular case, and novels tomorrow.
Okay? Okay.
SO! Here we go. There are some basic tenets for queries, and they apply especially when it comes to picture books. The biggest rule of thumb is, keep it short. I mean, REALLY short. I know we say one page for queries, but if you're querying a picture book, you should really be going for about half a page. If your query is longer than your manuscript (and your book has more than one or two words per page), you have a problem.
This sounds daunting, but it really isn't. The basic structure for your query letter should be:
Address (Dear Mr/Mrs Agent/Editor)
One to three sentences about the content of your book, which includes your hook, but which does not include how it ends. (They're called "spoilers" for a reason, guys.)
A couple of sentences about why you think your book is a good fit for their house/agency (including word count, target audience, etc.).
A sentence or two of relevant bio/recent and relevant publishing credits.
Thanks,
Signature
That's it! Any more, and you're over. The part about staying relevant in your bio is important; it's nice if you go to conferences on the topic of your book, but unless you were a speaker, they don't qualify you as an expert. It also doesn't matter if your grandson liked your book, unless your grandson runs a publishing house. A PhD in Entomology is great if you wrote a PB about bugs, but if you're writing about a kid who goes to the dentist, leave it out. If it doesn't have to do with writing or publishing and it isn't an actual qualification or degree that applies directly to your manuscript, it shouldn't be in your query. The editor will thank you.
I've heard a couple of people say that they never personalize their query with a section on why you think your manuscript is a good fit for a certain agent or editor. If that's the way you want to go, then so be it. But I put one in, because all the agents I've heard talk about it and seen blog about it say they prefer one. It shows them that you've done your research. (And you ARE doing your research, right? Right? Yes, because you know you should be.)
Okay! So with all of that said, here's a first draft-type version (I took my actual query and worked backwards to add mistakes that I see people make often) of a query for one of my books:
Mr. Agent Amazing who Holds My Dreams in Your Hands,
“Penelope was petite – in fact, she was the smallest person in her class – but her hair was HUGE.
This was a problem.”
Penelope is good at everything, but all anyone ever notices is her huge hair. Penelope tries everything from braids to special brushes to a haircut and everything in-between to make her hair less noticeable, but it just doesn't work. Then when she finds out that there will be a school spelling bee, she jumps at the chance to prove to everyone that her hair isn't the only thing remarkable about her, and after practicing and practicing and practicing, she wins! And no-one notices her hair anymore.
"Penelope’s Hairy Predicament” is a 600-word picture book for 6-8 year olds. It will appeal to readers of all shapes and sizes.
With its light-hearted treatment of a serious issue, this book would be a welcome addition to your collection of quirkier titles, such as THIS BOOK, by Author A and THIS OTHER BOOK, by Author B. I have enclosed my complete manuscript, along with an SASE for your convenience.
I am a member of SCBWI. My poem, “Desert Treasure”, has been published in the Jul/Aug 2010 issue of KNOW: the Science Magazine for Curious Kids. I also contributed to my College Newspaper at Simon's Rock College of Bard from 1994-1996. As someone who grew up with humongous hair, I really know what Penelope has gone through, and in fact this book is based on my experiences as a child. A writer, actor, and dancer, I live, write, and perform in This Town, ON, with my husband and two sons.
I just know you're going to love my book, and I can't wait to be your client!
Sincerely,
And here's my line edit:
Mr. Agent
“Penelope was petite – in fact, she was the smallest person in her class – but her hair was HUGE. This was a problem.” Corrected weird formatting.
Penelope is good at everything, Avoid hyperbole. but all anyone ever notices is her huge hair. Penelope tries everything from braids to special brushes to a haircut and everything in-between to make her hair less noticeable, but it just doesn't work. Then when she finds out that there will be a school spelling bee, she jumps at the chance to prove to everyone that her hair isn't the only thing remarkable about her, and after practicing and practicing and practicing, she wins! And no-one notices her hair anymore. There are two things wrong with this paragraph: one, it's a summary, not a query, and it gives away the ending. Don't give away the ending! Two, it's way, way too long.
"Penelope’s Hairy Predicament” is a 600-word picture book for 6-8 year olds. It will appeal to readers of all shapes and sizes. This is kind of general. Shoot for specificity.
With its light-hearted treatment of a serious issue, this book would be a welcome addition to your collection of quirkier titles, such as THIS BOOK, by Author A and THIS OTHER BOOK, by Author B. I have enclosed my complete manuscript, along with an SASE for your convenience. This is actually fine. Books are examples from the agent or editor's own list. This part will change depending on whom you're querying.
I am a member of SCBWI. My poem, “Desert Treasure”, has been published in the Jul/Aug 2010 issue of KNOW: the Science Magazine for Curious Kids. This is a good credit: current, and also kidlit. I also contributed to my College Newspaper at Simon's Rock College of Bard from 1994-1996. However, the newspaper credit is WAY old, and not even in the right genre! Cut it. As someone who grew up with humongous hair, I really know what Penelope has gone through, and in fact this book is based on my experiences as a child. Sorry, but... This needs to go. It doesn't reflect the voice of the manuscript, and it's wordy. A writer, actor, and dancer, I live, write, and perform in This Town, ON, with my husband and two sons.
Sincerely,
And here's the final version:
Mr. Agent/Editor, Professional greeting - this is a business letter.
“Penelope was petite – in fact, she was the smallest person in her class – but her hair was HUGE. This was a problem.” This is the "hook". You don't have to quote from your manuscript, but in this instance, I thought it worked and I left it in.
Penelope is good at lots of things, like Hide-and-Seek and memorizing the dictionary. But all anyone ever notices is her huge hair. As Penelope tries unsuccessfully to make her hair less noticeable, she learns that sometimes building on your strengths is the best way to diminish your weaknesses. This gives some specific details and the theme, but does not give away the ending - to find out how she solves her problem, they'll have to read the manuscript. The second sentence is the essence of what this book is about - the theme, not the plot.
"Penelope’s Hairy Predicament” is a 600-word picture book for 6-8 year olds. It will appeal to any child who has ever felt uncomfortable with his appearance, stood out in a crowd, or believed there was more to herself than the way she looked. This still refers to most people, but it tells WHY those people might like this book.
With its light-hearted treatment of a serious issue, this book would be a welcome addition to your collection of quirkier titles, such as THIS BOOK, by Author A and THIS OTHER BOOK, by Author B. I have enclosed my complete manuscript, along with an SASE for your convenience. Most of the time, editors and agents specify that in the case of picture books, you should send the full manuscript with the query. Look in the Children's Writers' Market if you don't believe me.
I am a member of SCBWI. My poem, “Desert Treasure”, has been published in the Jul/Aug 2010 issue of KNOW: the Science Magazine for Curious Kids. A writer, actor, and dancer, I live, write, and perform in This Town, ON, with my husband and two sons. We are the biggest-haired family on our street. This last sentence adds a bit of flavor, and reflects the voice in the manuscript.
Thank you for your consideration; I look forward to hearing from you. Professional, polite closing.
Sincerely,
See the difference? Keep it tight; give specific examples, but don't reveal the ending; echo the voice in your manuscript; stay relevant; personalize it.
And once you figure it out, make that baby into a template so you never have to try to figure it out again.
I hope some of you found this, along with the above links, helpful. Enjoy your journey in queryland!
And thanks for stopping by.
Tuesday, August 3, 2010
On Critique
When I first started writing with the goal of eventually getting paid for it, I thought this meant that I'd be doing lots and lots of writing. I was right, in a way - I am doing lots, and lots, and LOTS of writing. But there's something I do even more of than that: critiquing. The art of giving and getting feedback is an integral and essential part of being a writer, and lately, I've been doing a lot of both.
And it is an art! In the past few days, I've been reminded of a couple of the finer points. Namely:
- Modesty. No-one is the be-all and end-all of publishing, and nothing grates more than critiquers who think (or sound like they think) they are. Your opinions are only your own, and it doesn't hurt to say so in your feedback. Equally, don't ask for critique when what you really want is praise. Which brings me to:
- Readiness. The person who asks for feedback and then argues with their critiquers will not have critiquers for very long. If you're still so attached to your manusript that you can't see how someone else's ideas can improve it, then you're not ready to receive critique. Which brings me to:
- Generosity, or as I like to say to my kids, "Do Unto Others". Offer honest critique, and you will get honest critique. Don't ask for feedback unless you're willing to reciprocate. Which brings me to:
- Moderation. An avalanche of edits, however well-intentioned, is still an avalanche. Choose the most important, most glaring things to point out. Too much negative can be overwhelming. Which brings me to:
- Balance. No manuscript, no matter how awful, has nothing redeeming about it. Find the good in each piece, and praise it.
Now, go forth and critique!
And thanks for stopping by.
And it is an art! In the past few days, I've been reminded of a couple of the finer points. Namely:
- Modesty. No-one is the be-all and end-all of publishing, and nothing grates more than critiquers who think (or sound like they think) they are. Your opinions are only your own, and it doesn't hurt to say so in your feedback. Equally, don't ask for critique when what you really want is praise. Which brings me to:
- Readiness. The person who asks for feedback and then argues with their critiquers will not have critiquers for very long. If you're still so attached to your manusript that you can't see how someone else's ideas can improve it, then you're not ready to receive critique. Which brings me to:
- Generosity, or as I like to say to my kids, "Do Unto Others". Offer honest critique, and you will get honest critique. Don't ask for feedback unless you're willing to reciprocate. Which brings me to:
- Moderation. An avalanche of edits, however well-intentioned, is still an avalanche. Choose the most important, most glaring things to point out. Too much negative can be overwhelming. Which brings me to:
- Balance. No manuscript, no matter how awful, has nothing redeeming about it. Find the good in each piece, and praise it.
Now, go forth and critique!
And thanks for stopping by.
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