Friday, July 15, 2011

Friday Flash Fiction: Ali Cross' INDEPENDENCE DAY Blog-Hop!

FIRST: This is your last chance to enter the giveaway of TOOTER'S STINKY WISH, by Brian Cretney, illustrated by Peggy Collins, and signed by both of them! Go HERE to do it!


And now, today is Ali Cross' Independence Day Blog-Hop! (Ali is a ninja of awesome: always positive, always supportive, and lots of fun. To visit her dojo, go HERE.)  The challenge was to write a 250-word-or-less flash fiction piece for the prompt: "It's Independence Day, and something unexpected happens..."

So here's my entry:

***

This is it: my own personal Independence Day. The day I strike out on my own, forge ahead into the great unknown, cut the umbilical cord. I'm movin' out.

I reach for the last box of books, but Dad puts a meaty hand on my shoulder. "Let me get that one, son."

"That's okay, I can do it." I can do it all myself. Ever since Mom died, Dad's been watching me like he watches the sky on a day when the air is heavy with the anticipation of rain. He's been waiting and waiting for my dam to burst and let everything out, but I'm going to prove that I'm okay. I'm ready to go it alone.

But Dad already has his strong arms wrapped around the box. I follow him out to the car, slamming the door shut behind me. It flexes away from its frame as I kick the doorplate with my heel. "Hasta la vista, Baby."

I head for the rusty Mustang and my vision tunnels in on my dad, crumpling over sideways, the box crashing to the sidewalk, its contents exploding out and littering the ground. I run to him, grab his wrist, stare into his blank eyes, shake his chest. My First Aid training evaporates, and I am alone.

I can't do this myself.

***

So, that's my entry. I hope you enjoyed reading it. To read the others, just follow the links in the nifty linky-list below, and feel free to join in the fun by adding your own entry to the mix. Happy reading!


16 comments:

  1. Great entry. It got me wanting more right away. Thanks.

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  2. I LOVE this! It could totally be the beginning of a novel. Great job.

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  3. Oh no, so sad. Good writing - I feel invested already.

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  4. Oh wow! Great beginning and a powerful hook at the end that makes me want to know what happens next. Great job!

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  5. Ohhhh man. I felt that one close to home Ishta. It was beautiful and I could totally FEEL this kid. Thanks so much for sharing this!

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  6. wow, what a ending! Just crazy, and unfortunate. But very powerful! Great job. Don't you love Ali's flash fiction blog fest? Im off to go follow you now =0)

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  7. So sad. I could feel his drive to be independent, only to realize he needs his dad after it's too late. Nice.

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  8. Many times you realize things too late to appreciate. Thanks for your story, it's great!

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  9. Wow, what a great piece of flash fiction. I want to know more of the story. Love it.

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  10. Wow! That throws "brave" out the window. Good story. I like how you described the father and box crumpling.

    The Write Soil

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  11. Now he is an orphan, and orphans make for good protagonists. Or maybe Dad will be okay? Good job!

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  12. Oh, wow. I'm hooked. Give me more! Seriously fantastic.

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  13. Awesome! Love everything you conveyed in so few words!

    Just wanted you to know - you won the contest on my blog. Congrats! Stop by and see what you need to do. :)

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  14. Oh, man.

    I'm your 200th follower. I love round numbers. =D

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  15. Thanks, guys! This was fun - I really like writing flash fiction, but I need a prompt, so I hardly ever do it. Maybe now I'll make it a regular thing. :-)

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