Query Workshop Part II: Novels

Tonight's post is about querying the novel. This really applies to a range of books, from the chapter book to the novella to the full-fledged novel, but I'll just say "novel" for convenience.

The basic rules are the same as for picture book queries:

- Keep it short - a page or less.

- Keep it professional.

- Don't give away the ending of your book.

- Stay on topic.

The basic format is the same, with an extra paragraph for getting into the nitty-gritty of what your novel is about. Remember: we want the nitty-gritty.

When writing your query, the very first thing you should do is think about your main character, the main problem they face, and the obstacles in their way, and say that in one sentence. For example, the YA novel THE SISTERHOOD OF THE TRAVELLING PANTS can be summarized as:

"Four friends find a pair of jeans that fits them all and decide to share them throughout the summer, making the pants the glue that keeps them close even when they are far apart."

Then flesh it out a little, and then a little more, until you have two solid paragraphs that identify the main character (or characters), their primary goal, and whatever stands in the way.

You are not looking to explain any alternate worlds or universes here, and you are not introducing extra secondary characters here. Boil it down to the essence.

Here's the (purposefully awful) first draft of a query for my WIP, a YA paranormal romance tentatively entitled HUNTER:

Dear Mr. Agent,

High school Junior Kira Moretti has it all: a great boyfriend, good grades, parents who let her do what she wants, and now a major role in the school musical. But when she starts to fall for the boy cast as her boyfriend, and he starts to fall for her, things start to fall apart.

He is her Guardian Angel, sent down to protect her from the moment of her birth because she is destined to become the next Prophet. Since he's an angel and she's a human, they are forbidden to have a relationship, and boy is God mad! He sends the Archangels down to punish them, leading to an epic battle. And to top it off, demons are out to get her! Will Kira figure out how to date the real guy of her dreams and get away from the demons in order to fulfill her destiny?

HUNTER is a _____-word YA paranormal romance novel that is a perfect mash-up of Twilight and High School Musical. It will set hearts racing and have girls swooning, and is the first in a series of 5 books that I have written. You would be a fool to pass this up.

I can't wait to hear from you!

Sincerely,

I actually had fun writing that just now. *grin* And here's the redline:

Dear Mr. Agent, This is the only appropriate way to begin a query; don't call an agent by his or her first name.

High school Junior Kira Moretti has it all: overdone beginning a great boyfriend, good grades, parents who let her do what she wants, and now a major role in the school musical. But when she starts to fall for the boy cast as her boyfriend, Are we talking about in her life, or in the play? and he starts to fall for her, things start to fall apart. Lots of repetition of the word "fall" here... Could be good or bad.

He is her Guardian Angel, sent down to protect her from the moment of her birth because she is destined to become the next Prophet. Where did THAT come from? Since he's an angel and she's a human, they are forbidden to have a relationship, and boy is God mad! Too informal. He sends the Archangels down to punish them, leading to an epic battle. "an epic battle" is way too vague. And to top it off, demons are out to get her! HUH? Where did THEY come from? Will Kira figure out how to date the real guy of her dreams I thought her old boyfriend was the guy of her dreams? What happened to him? and get away from the demons in order to fulfill her destiny? Rhetorical questions are best avoided.

HUNTER is a _____-word YA paranormal romance novel that is a perfect mash-up of Twilight and High School Musical. Describing a novel as a perfect anything is bound to raise eyebrows, and not in a good way. It will set hearts racing and have girls swooning, This is presumptuous. and is the first in a series of 5 books that I have written. ALWAYS say that your novel can stand alone; publishers don't want to be tied to a deal for a series if the first book flops. You would be a fool to pass this up. Unprofessional, among other things.

I can't wait to hear from you! Instead of saying that, say that you look forward to hearing from them, and thank them for their time.

Sincerely,

And here's an improved (but by no means perfect - I'm still writing the book!) version:

Mr./Mrs. Agent,

16-year-old Kira Moretti thinks her Junior year is off to a flying start: not only has the most popular boy in her school asked her out, but she's also been cast to play her favorite character in the high school production of "Grease". But when she starts falling for Hunter Crowley, her pretend-boyfriend from the musical, he tells her something that brings her right back down to Earth: he's not human. He's her Guardian Angel, and although they have developed a burning passion for one another, a romantic relationship is forbidden.

This is a small worry compared to the reason Hunter was sent to protect Kira: she is destined to become the next Prophet, and Lucifer and his army of fallen souls have been plotting to destroy her since the moment of her birth. Kira and Hunter must fight for life and love in this _____________-word YA paranormal romance.

TWILIGHT meets "High School Musical" in HUNTER, a novel which will appeal to fans of THIS BOOK YOU REPRESENTED and THIS OTHER BOOK YOU REPRESENTED. Although it can stand alone, it has series potential.

Thank you for your consideration, and I look forward to hearing from you.

Sincerely,

It's not perfect, but it's way better. It's more concise, more focused on the main characters, and more professional.

And it will probably morph into something completely different by the time I have finished my novel! But that's okay; writing it was fun, and helped me narrow in on the core of my book. I encourage anyone with a work-in-progress to go ahead and write the query for it now, so that whenever you find yourself wandering off-track in your manuscript, you can dig out your query and remind yourself what you're supposed to be writing about!

I hope this was helpful, and thanks for stopping by.